It seems this “shelter in place” is a time that is going to tests mom’s and dad’s nerves when it comes to “custody arrangements”. Some of these arrangements have to do with school terms and when parents have made arrangements for custody when school is in or out of session, to attempt to make arrangements helpful for the children and parents.
Now, since kids are being taught “at home” or homeschooled with check-ins from teachers throughout the week. Parents have had to change custody arrangements. Courts are not in session, so for now, the goodwill of both parents is very important. It should be recognized that most parents are very dutiful about thinking of their children when making new arrangements. “Travel” back and forth for children and parents needs to be one of goodwill and fair understanding of the travel ban in their area.
When parents don’t show “goodwill” to each other, children will feel the tension, (they already have way too much of that in the Pandemic). Kids know when mom and dad don’t agree and can’t co-parent well. How to make this fair to everyone should be the concern, especially towards the children’s benefit.
Parents! Here is what you need to do: sit down and have the adult conversation without the children and make sound arrangements. Some parents live very close to one another, but other households might be 20, 30 miles away from children’s friends, grandparents or other extended families. Keep these specifics in mind as you discuss arrangements.
You can spend tons of money going back and forth with attorneys and the courts. Or you can stop squabbling during this very serious time, and work to have a good plan. Then let the children know why and how these arrangements are in their best interest. Zoom, Skype, or Facetime, can provide parents and children time to talk when they are at the other parent’s home; you can talk about the week or the day together. A parent can call and say good-night to their child. You can help them with homework from the teacher via “connections”.
At this time in our world, children need the stability of good, caring parents who can set their differences aside, and come together for the children.
Want more information? Check out my latest Vlog on this topic: Keeping the kids feeling safe